Wednesday, March 31, 2010

"I Will Be Here"

Today, I heard this song on the radio while driving home from shopping. You know how different songs make you feel different ways? Maybe a song that was playing on the radio when a boyfriend broke up with you always takes you back to that moment. Maybe you used to listen to a certain song when you were hanging out with your friends and it always reminds you of those good times. Well, this song makes me feel safe. I've always considered it my parents' "song." I remember them always listening to it and singing it to each other when I was growing up. On second thought, I guess it's not particularly the song that make me feel safe but knowing that the lyrics embody my parents' marriage, and that makes me safe.

This is them almost 33 years ago, on their wedding day. Don't they look happy? Young and in love? Ready to start a new life together? I'm sure at this point they had no idea where their lives would take them--that 33 years later they would have 2 daughters, a son-in-law, and a grandson. All they knew is that they loved each other and had made a commitment to stay together "for better or worse". And they have.

Growing up, my parents argued, but I think they would have done me a disfavor not to argue. How unrealistic would that have been? Everyone has disagreements and they always made up, apologized in front of my sister and I, and then prayed together. It was and is obvious that they love each other.

I was never afraid that I'd wake up in the morning and one of my parents would have left us. I was never afraid I'd have to choose which parent to live with or be shuffled back and forth every other weekend. I just knew we were a family, stuck together for life no matter what.

So almost 3 years ago, when I got married, I expected the same thing. I've tried to bring the lessons I learned from my parents' marriage into mine. Pray together, never ever use the "d" word (divorce), and make up quickly. I want Kade to feel the same security from his parents that I felt from mine. I want him to know that daddy and I will always be here for each other and for him. I also know that that level of commitment and security comes only through a continuing relationship with God. He is such a huge part of marriage!

Our lives change and we change, but our love will never change, except to grow!

Thanks mom and dad, for being such a good example of what a godly marriage should be like!

I love you!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Not Me! Monday

"Not Me! Monday" is a fun and cathartic way to admit things you totally didn't do. I've even gotten my sister started doing it. When you've finished reading mine, you can read hers here.

After realizing that Kade seems to be healed of his dairy allergy, I did not make a homemade chocolate pie and eat at least half of said pie between Saturday night and Sunday afternoon. Nope! I have been watching my weight so carefully; I would certainly not put my gorgeous (insert rolling eyes) post-pregancy body in jeopardy.

I also didn't have my hubby make a special trip to the store for Ben & Jerry's ice cream, tell him the line was too long to wait, and then complain that I really wanted ice cream when we got home. I'm much too mature to pout over ice cream.

We did not spend almost 5 minutes discussing the ice cream incident in front of our couples Sunday School class. As leaders of the group discussion, we had many more important things to talk about than my ice cream issues.

When Kade wouldn't go back to sleep very early this morning, I did not just turn over and try to drift back off, leaving my sick husband to deal with him. I am mommy--superhero! Who needs sleep? Not me!

I did not go through the drawers of my guest room this weekend and find of a picture of an old boyfriend...from 12 years ago. I have certainly cleaned out my drawers many times since then and would have surely thrown that picture away. I know I've cleaned it in 12 years.....right?

So, come on! Don't hold it in! What didn't you do this week?

Friday, March 26, 2010

I love him! (Pt2)

The summer before my senior year, when I wasn't babysitting, I was moping on the couch...

Then, my parents agreed to have a sit down with Michael. I'm not sure who talked the most (I'm guessing them), but I remember my mom coming home and looking me in the eyes and saying, You really care about him, don't you? All I could do was nod. We were getting ready to leave on vacation and they said they wanted the week to decide what they were going to do. It was the longest week of my life.

When we got back, they said, Well we told him to call if he's interested in a relationship, so you'll have to wait on him to call. So, he called and we picked up where we left off! We dated all of my senior year, got to go to the prom together, and do all of the things we had missed out on. College time got close, and even though I wasn't going far away, I had several people in my life advising me to free myself before I left so that I could start a whole new life at college. Yeah, I didn't appreciate that advice so much; not that I didn't respect these people's opinions, but I knew what was right for me.

I'll admit right now that I wanted a ring. I wanted one right then and I wanted to get married. I knew we were in a committed relationship, but I wanted the whole kit-and-caboodle--right THEN. Michael will tell you the embarrassing things I said and did to try to get a proposal out of him. I begged, I pleaded, I pouted, I tried to get him to make promises, but as is his nature, he took his own sweet time. He waited till a year before I would graduate from college to propose on Christmas Day. There's not much else to say. We spent a year planning the wedding and got married on December 30, 2006. It was a beautiful wedding and an awesome celebration of love and God. I got a call on our honeymoon (two weeks after graduating from college) about a job and went right to work. God's timing was definitely better than mine would have been.

I have an awesome husband! He is my absolute best friend in the whole world. I fall in love with him more everyday and I wake up every morning knowing that he is my one and only. He works so hard for our family and he never ceases to amaze me. I am blessed to be married to a man of God who wants to serve God and walk in His ways. We really hardly ever argue and just enjoy being together and being with our son. What we have is the love of a lifetime! It wasn't always pretty, but I believe that, though we may not have always followed his will, God had a plan and everything worked out for our good!

I love him!

My husband, that is. Not because of anything in particular he's done recently (not that he's done anything bad, either); I just love him!

I got inspired about reading The Pioneer Woman's blog to blog about my love story, which probably began when I was born and my parents started praying for my future husband. I remember waking up early on Saturday morning, when I was younger, and hearing the low murmurs of my parents' voices from the living room. I would creep through the hallway and hear them praying. Sometimes, I would stand there and listen for a few minutes and sometimes, I would come in and lay in my mom's lap while they would continue to pray. Nevertheless, I remember that they always prayed for mine and my sister's future husbands, whoever they would be.

Fastforward 15 years.

Some of my friends had boyfriends all the way from kindergarten to high school. Me, not so much. At the time, I always figured that I was just unattractive and nerdy. Maybe I was. I think, now, though, that maybe God was just preparing me for that one right person. Ok, confession time: my husband was not the first person I kissed. Actually, he was the second (ok, laugh it up!). He was and is my first true love, though (no matter what I may have thought about anyone else).

He is two years older than me and we went to the same primary, middle, and high school, but I never really knew him until high school. I mean, I didn't really know him, then, but I knew who he was. He was friends with my friends, but not with me--if that makes any sense. When I was in 10th grade, we ended up in chorus class together. He is not a terrible singer (and honey, don't take this the wrong way) but he was not there because of his voice. If anyone has ever taken a high school chorus class, you know that usually there are many girls and several less guys. That being said, he actually had a girlfriend who was in chorus class, too.

For most of high school, I was one of the shyest people I have ever met. I especially didn't want anyone to hear me sing. He would always lean forward and try to hear me. "Sing louder; I can't hear you," he'd tease. Oh, he was so aggravating! Sometimes, we would chat on the internet after school or at night. Usually, it was just a "Hey" "What are you doing?" "Nothing, you?" "Just sitting here" conversation. Sometimes, he called me "kid", which I found really condescending.

In January, out of the blue, he asked me to go to his senior prom (he and his girlfriend had broken up) "just as friends." I agreed only because my best friend at the time, who was dating a junior, begged me to go and keep her company. Michael and I starting getting together to get to know each other and evetually, "just friends" ended up dating. What ensued could only be described as drama. Since I'll never be 100% sure of everything that happened, that's all I'll say. Drama, drama, drama which eventually turned into me not only being forbidden to go to the prom, but not being allowed to date him.

My tender 15 year-old heart was broken, and the only way I could see to keep it together was to hold on to the relationship. No, it was not "on the up-and-up." It was not the honest thing to do, not the mature thing to do, and definitely not the godly thing to do, but....I did. It was what it was, and God evetually brought it to light. I'm sure I disappointed my parents, and I know that they continued to spend hours praying dor me. It was a dark time in my life. I couldn't imagine my life without Michael, but things were not working out. The summer before my senior year, when I wasn't babysitting, I spent a lot of time moping on the couch....


Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Morning blogging....

I think about blogging a lot--When I wake up early and have several minutes to myself. When Kade takes a nap. When he's nursing. After he goes to bed--but I rarely do it.

He has decided to be lazy and sleep in this morning, so I grabbed a cup of coffee and decided to blog in my free time, even though I don't have anything very interesting to blog about.

This week has been wonderful for me (not as good for my weight or health) because I think Kade has gotten over been healed of his dairy allergy. In January, the pediatrician diagnosed him with a milk protein allergy and told me if I wanted to continue breastfeeding, I needed to cut all dairy from my diet. I did, though not without whining at times, and the symptoms he was having disappeared. A couple of weeks ago, I decided to be bad mommy and had a little bit of ranch dressing on a salad. Next day, a couple bites of a chocolate cake I had made. Over the next several days, I had a little bit of this and that dairy and nothing happened. Last Saturday, I really did it. I made a homemade chocolate pie and Michael and I ate the whole thing between Saturday and Sunday. Kade hasn't had any symptoms whatsoever! I was simply amazed and then I said to Michael, "Well, we did pray for him to be healed, so....."

So, this week (and it's only Wednesday!) I have indulged. First, the chocolate pie, then some peanut butter chocolate chip oatmeal cookies I made for our mommy's group yesterday, coffee with creamer, a couple bites of ice cream. Luckily, it hasn't affected my weight much, yet, but I'm going to have to slow down. The no dairy diet, though terrible, allowed me to lose all my pregnancy weight, plus some. If you're looking for a diet, it's definitely the way to go--and healthy (if you don't eat as many Oreos as I did).

I ordered myself an early birthday present last night (my birthay is in a month). After going back and forth about it, I decided to get a Keurig coffee maker, mostly because I found an awesome deal on one on ebay. When I say awesome deal, I mean $100 less than retail. I'm all about good deals, especially since staying at home. Plus, I am terrible at making coffee. I'm so terrible that I ask my poor husband to make it for me when he gets up to go to work. It seems so simple. Two tablespoons of coffee per 6 oz. cup of water. I just can't do it, though. What I like about the Keurig (from what I've seen) is that you just stick the little K cup in the machine and it does everything else. Plus, they come in all kinds of flavors and varieties and you can also get tea and hot chocolate (Sorry, I'm getting carried away. By the way, this is a personal review, for which I am not being paid or reimbursed by Keurig).

So, like I said, not much interesting to say today, but at least I blogged and exercised my writing skills. Looks like a beautiful day, here. Can't wait to get out and enjoy it!



Sunday, March 21, 2010

Come Lay 'Em Down!

Phillipians 4:19-"My God shall supply all your needs, according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus."

I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago about my need for control (especially in the area of finances) and how having control makes me feel secure.

Well, I was tested this week. Michael called me Monday night, around 8:30, and said, "My truck is broken down on the side of the road. I need you to come get me."

We knew this was coming. His truck is 10 years old, he had been saying that it just "didn't feel right" when he was driving, it had no heat or air, he drives an hour and a half to work everyday, etc., etc. I went to pick him up and we were talking on the phone on my way there about tow trucks, new transmissions, and new cars. I didn't say anything to him, but I was getting all worked up in my head adding up the costs for all these things. And a new car?! EEEEK! No way did I want to add another monthly payment to our list.

That night, in our prayer before bed I prayed that God would find us just the right car at just the right price and that he would provide everything we needed.

So, Michael took a personal day from work the next day so that he could get everything squared away, get his truck towed home, and look for a new (used) car. He went to our insurance office to see how much they would pay on a towing bill. He called me on the way home and said, "So, I saved us $24 a month on our car insurance (No, really! We had forgotten to take off one of our old cars) and I borrowed a towing trailer (I guess that's what they're called?) to tow the truck home. "

I'm thinking, "Well, hallelujah! We're saving money on our car insurance and not having to pay for a tow truck! Thank you, Lord!"

He called a local salvage/junkyard who said they would buy his truck at a pretty reasonable price, especially considering it needs a transmission and an engine or motor.

We looked around on the internet at a few used cars. Then, he went to see a man about a car. I mean, a man he knows who buys/works on cars told him he had a car for sale. This car turns out to be in very good condition, at a price that allows us to pay cash without having to get a loan, and it gets 10 more MPG than his truck, which is a big deal when you commute 3 hours a day/5-6 days a week. We bought it!

Take all of your troubles and come lay 'em down.

I mean, something as simple as needing a car! Lay it down before Him.
Something as big as needing a job?! Lay it down.

Jehovah Jireh is my provider! He'll do it for you, too!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Not Me, Monday!, etc.

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have *not* been doing this week.

This week, I should have won a Mother of the Year award. Even though I am a first time mother, I always avoid making mistakes that other FTMs usually make.

For example, my son definitely did not sleep in his car seat several times this week, because that is the only place he would sleep. That would just be irresponsible and neglectful. Who needs sleep anyways?

I also did not take Kade for a walk in his mei tai, keep my coat carefully wrapped around him the entire time, and then realize on the walk back that his poor chubby legs were actually hanging below my coat, his ankles exposed to the cold wind.

In a picture taken by one of my friends at church and posted on Facebook, Kade was certainly not pulling at my shirt, exposing an indecent amount of cleavage, to which another friend did not post the comment: Got milk? I always keep my shirts pulled up to my neck and will most definitely be wearing turtlenecks from now on.

On another non-mother related note, I have been such a healthy person since Kade was born. His milk protein allergy cut out all junk foods and a lot of fats from my diet. The main things I am allowed to eat are oatmeal, some breads, peanut butter, banana, carrots, chicken, green bean, and Oreos. Even though Oreos are dairy-free, I never take advantage of them. In fact, I did not and would not buy a package of Oreos on Saturday and have almost all of them eaten by Sunday. Nope.....

Bet you're feeling bad about all the things you did this week after reading all the things I didn't do, right?

Kade had a terrible night's sleep last night. It's been hit and miss for him lately. Sometimes, he only wakes up once during the night and sometimes it seems like he's up half the night. Last night, he would not go to sleep until 11, and then was up from 4:30-7. At least he slept until 11 after that and I was able to get some extra sleep. There's another one of the blessings of being home; I'm able to sleep on his schedule sometimes.

God has also blessed me with some awesome piano students. I decided when I quit that I would teach a few piano lessons just to make some extra spending money. I asked God for 5 students and I currently have 6, with a couple on a waiting list. It keeps my brain going and keeps my teaching "skills" fresh. It also gives Kade a couple hours a week to spend with his grandparents, who keep him while I do lessons.

I could go on and on about God's blesings since I became a SAHM. He blessed us before, but I am amazed at the things He has done for us since we made this decision. Sometimes, I groan and complain about being by myself with Kade most of the time and feeling lonely and having less money, but ultimately, He has blessed us above and beyond anything we could have asked or thought.

Speaking of music , if you're a fan, have you checked out all the awesome new worship music that has come out lately? The new Passion: Awakening CD is good and then I heard an awesome one by Lincoln Brewster and Darlene Zscech today and I love, love, LOVE Hillsong! There are way too many to choose from! Everytime I find one I want to do in church, I hear another one and think, "Ooooh, that one, too!" I love to worship and just bask in God's presence. So refreshing!

So, this is a fairly random post, but I'm trying to write more and use the gifts God has given me when I get the chance.

Have a blessed week!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Betty Crocker

Lately, several people have commented to me that I have "turned into a Betty Crocker" since staying home. I've taken it as a compliment, translating "Betty Crocker" to mean the epitome of domesticity (Yeah, that sure is me! HA!)

I was thinking this morning, though--what have I done that would make me seem more "domestic" than before? I've made dinner for my husband (almost) every night, I've made and delivered a couple casseroles to a hurting family, I clean my house every week, and, unless I'm missing something, that's about it. It's more than I was able to do while working, but it hardly makes me Suzy Homemaker. I still take the "Betty Crocker" comment as a compliment, but really, I'm just trying to be the wife and mother God has called me to be.