Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I never fully understood God's love for us until Kade was born. I mean, I knew God loved us a whole lot. I even remember getting a little upset when I was around 6 or 7 and my mom said, "God loves you even more than we do!" On one hand, I thought, "How can someone love me more than my parents?!" and on the other hand, I thought, "Wow! Someone loves me more than my parents!"
But, like I said, I never fully understood God's love until Kade was born. As soon as I saw him for the first time, I knew that I would do anything for him. I wouldn't ever let anyone lay a hand on him. I would lay my life down for his. I know that's how God feels about his son, too.
However, God loved us so much that he sacrified His only son so that we could live. There's not one person on this earth for whom I would sacrifice my only son. Sorry. If the future of the whole human race depended on me sacrificing my son, I wouldn't do it. I would let every single person die. It sounds kind of terrible when you say it out loud, but I don't think one parent would disagree.
God is God, though, and I am not. His love is incomprehensible. It is overwhelming and awesome and far reaching and everlasting.
He gave up what I could not--because He loves me--so that I could have this wonderful life and a life everlasting.
Thank You, Jesus.
And sometimes, we have to be completely flat-on-our-face, torn apart, broken down, desperate before He can start knitting us back together. Because really, when we've molded ourselves into what we want to be, he has to start all over to get us where He wants us to be.
Don't get me wrong. We have a happy marriage and I love my husband more than I can ever imagine loving anyone.
It's not important what they
Anyone ever heard the song "Sunday's on the Way" by Carman? Well, by Saturday night, God was on his way to restoring what may have been the biggest mess we have EVER faced head on. He did an awesome thing right in our living room. But Sunday morning, he showed up to my husband in a way I have never seen and we have been together for almost 9 years. He was broken at the altar, barely clinging to the rail, crying out to God and he didn't care who saw or what they thought. He just wanted to be free and God spoke very specifically through the man who came to pray for him, releasing him of every single thing that was holding him back from being who he was meant to be. He got to his feet a different person. Different than I have ever seen. All because of God's gift of forgiveness. There's therefore now no condemnation resting on my soul, and that is a good feeling.
That might scare some people, but it is exciting to us. He immediately started revealing things to my husband that He has been revealing to me. I am not perfect, but what started in me is continuing in us. We are now on the same God page.
The past is gone. There is no need to think about it. God is doing a new thing. Even now it is coming to light.
Neither consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing,
Even now it is springing to light.
Do you not perceieve it?
Not that long ago, I was a very happily married English teacher whose favorite pasttime was lounging on the couch with her husband. We spent our money on whatever we wanted and went where we wanted whenever we wished. We planned on having a family someday--two children, preferably a boy and a girl. I would teach during the year and be home with them during the summer. We would be able to provide them with everything they wanted and needed. It would be a perfect life.
Most importantly, we were both Christians. Oh, how great is feels to tell people, "I'm a Christian. I'm saved." We went to church on Sunday morning and played in and led a praise and worship band. Then, we were free to go about our business until the next Sunday. We didn't do anything bad. In fact, we prayed for our meals every evening at dinner.
(to be continued....)