Wednesday, August 3, 2016

The Language of Love

I'm married to a pretty amazing guy, y'all. That's why I snatched him up so early--I didn't want anyone else to get to him! :)

Plus, we make some pretty gorgeous babies.

Even though he's absolutely amazing, he isn't perfect. And neither am I. Once in a blue moon, he forgets to take the trash down on trash day. Occasionally, he doesn't read the honey-do list in my mind and do everything around the house. Sometimes, I'm too critical. Every once in awhile, I obsess over money even though we have always had enough and make him feel like he's not enough.

Something I have learned in the last several years though is to very carefully guard my mouth when it comes to talking about my other half. The things we say are so important in relationships; words can build up or completely tear down. If Michael forgets to take down the trash, I don't text a friend or my mom and say, "Ugh, Michael is so lazy. I can't believe he didn't take the trash down again! He never does anything around the house." If we ever have a fight, I don't give a play by play to my BFF or post vague statuses on Facebook. One of the main reasons I don't broadcast things that happen in my marriage is because they're between me and my spouse. We're the ones who have to work the issue out. Another reason is that any issues we have are usually very short lived and sometimes, even petty. We might resolve the issue in less than a day, but if we've vented to family or friends, they're much less likely to forget about it. If I vent to my family and friends about my spouse on a regular basis, they're eventually going to have a pretty negative view of him.

What I try to do is brag as frequently as I can about my husband, both in front of him and behind his back. I don't mean in an over the top or insincere way. I literally focus on all of his good qualities (of which there are many) and find opportunities to mention them--even to our own children! I want them to know that mommy thinks daddy is the best! The bottom line is that he is a wonderful, loving, hardworking, patient husband and father and I want other people to see that. I also want him to know that I feel that way. I want to encourage him to be who God has called him to be.

In Proverbs 31, the writer mentions a wife who brings her husband "...good, not harm, all the days of her life." I want to be that kind of wife--a blessing to my husband. I want other people to see how much I genuinely admire him and why. I want other people to respect him for who he is, not resent him for a few silly arguments that mean nothing in the scheme of things.

I challenge you to say only good things about your spouse today--in front of him/her and to others. You might be amazed at the way your relationship changes and thrives!

(I think it goes without saying that if someone is in an abusive marriage, they should definitely not keep to themselves and protect their abuser. Please, tell someone and protect yourself and your children)

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