MckMama, an awesome blogger and woman of God, wrote a blog post today about how she stays calm with her children in the midst of chaos (she has 4 children, 5 and under, and one on the way!). She said that she always thinks, "I'm gonna miss this"; that when her oldest comes home from college and will hardly come out of his room, she will wish she had rocked him to sleep one more time.
Her post hit me hard. I prayed and begged and pleaded with God to provide for me to stay home with Kade. He did exactly what I asked and I was so grateful!
But, as the newness has worn off, I've started taking it for granted. Why can't Kade take a long enough nap for me to get anything done around the house?! Why does he have to eat every two hours?! It seems like I spend most of the day just feeding him! Why won't he go to sleep until at least 12 every night?! I'm so tired! Why won't he let his daddy put him to sleep?!
Ugh....I can't believe how whiny it sounds, now! God has blessed my family beyond what I could have ever imagined. Instead of missing seven hours a day with him, I'm able to experience seven extra hours a day with him. SEVEN HOURS. Thirty-five more hours a week!
I could be missing thirty-five hours a week from his life, but God heard my cry! When I think about it, I feel like falling prostrate on the floor and begging God's forgiveness.
I get to see him wake up, take my time feeding him, play peek-a-boo, hold him in my arms as he naps, pray over him, read him books, sing him songs--and I don't have to rush out the door. I don't have to wish away my days, just waiting for the weekend. I get to enjoy his life. What an awesome gift!
Though we will have other children, there's just this one time around with each one. And though I may be tired at the end of the day, I will choose to savor every moment I have with my son. When he's having trouble going to sleep tonight because his gums hurt and all he wants is mommy, I will rock him in our chair and sing praise songs to him and stroke his soft hands, and rub his back until he drifts off peacefully, knowing his mommy loves him and wanted to be with him.
Because, you only get just this time around.......
Try not to be too hard on yourself. I'm sure exhaustion plays a role in those thoughts you've been having.
ReplyDeleteMckMama's blog post rings true. I've had a very difficult time watching the boys pull away from me as they have grown older. They've never been good at communicating - after all, they're GUYS! But, I hardly hear from them these days.
Time truly goes by quickly. Seems like only yesterday that I was feeding my babies every two hours. Oh, wait....it WAS yesterday! Some things never change!! ;-)
Love,
Beth