I'm really a pretty selfish person. Yeah, really, I am. And I'm admitting it.
Oh, don't worry. I'm not a selfish mom. Michael and I make sure Kade has everything he needs and more, including our time and attention.
I just mean I'm a selfish person. I make lists all the time of thing I "need" and "want". You should see them; they're pretty ridiculous. A month or so ago, one of the things on my "need" list was "springy wreath for the front door." Seriously? I need a spring wreath for the front door? At the time I'm making these lists, everything seems urgent. Then, later, either something puts it into perspective for me or I just realize how crazy I'm being.
It's important to me that my house looks nice and neat and pretty, but in 50 years, will it matter if I had a new spring wreath or one of those decorative flags for every season? Will it really matter if I didn't have studio pictures taken of Kade every month or every holiday when we have over a million snapshots of him enjoying everyday life? Will it matter that I didn't mop my floor every other day (don't worry, I keep it swept up) or keep all of the weeds out of my flower garden? I don't think it will. I don't think I would regret any of it.
Now, don't get me wrong. I did buy a spring wreath, because I found one on sale, BUT I didn't need it. I don't need most of the things I put on my lists. What I do need, I have--God, a wonderful family, a home, and food in my cupboards. I hope, that in 50 years, my husband remembers how much I loved him and how much I appreciated his hard work for our family. I hope Kade remembers all the fun we had as a family, how much we enjoyed spending time together, and that he grew up in a family who loved God and each other more than anything. Most material things are going to get donated or thrown in the trash eventually.Our memories (until a certain point I guess. Ha!) will last. The things we teach Kade and our other children, God's Word and His salvation, will last. Hopefully, they will be passed down through generations. All of the things that really matter will last.
Sometimes, I need to be reminded of my selfishness so that I can realize what really matters.