I'm just not feelin' it today.
Ever have one of those days?
The sun is out, the breeze is gently blowing, my house is relatively clean, Kade is napping,
but all I can do is sit here slumped on the couch.
It was a rough night last night. Kade didn't go to sleep till 11 and then woke up at 12:30, 3:30, 5, 6, and 7. I think he's teething again. He's got all the classic symptoms: drooling, fussiness, and gnawing on everything in sight. *sigh*
So, maybe I'm just exhausted.
Maybe I need a cup of coffee.
Or some Ben & Jerry's.
I will make it through this day. I will make it through this day. I will make it through this day.
"...But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31)
Ahhhh. Now that's what I need!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Don't be a drive-thru parent......
We live in a world that tries to cater to everyone. It's all about convenience. We want the quickest and easiest way to do something, whether it be eating, shopping, sleeping, going to church, making money, etc. There's a drive-thru for everything! We've gotten so used to this world of convenience that we don't know what to do when we can't just snap our fingers and have what we want.
I've learned something since I became a mother. Parenting and children are not always convenient. They cry when we wish they would sleep, they want to eat when we'd like to be doing things around the house, they get into things they shouldn't get into, they make messes we have to clean up, they throw up, sneeze, cough, wipe boogers, and get poop and pee on you.
Parenting is hard.
I know/know of all kinds of soon-to-be mothers right now, and I beg you not to be a drive-thru parent.
You didn't carry a baby for 9 months just to make sure it gets fed, diapered, clothed, and off to pre-K by 3 years old.
God (whether you believe in Him or not) gave you the ultimate privilege of being a parent to the cutest, smartest baby in the world. It is a privilege AND it is a responsibility.
Listen to your instincts and not to the advice of every Tom, Dick, Harry, and even grandma who tells you what is "best" for your baby.
Just a couple things:
Some mothers honestly are not able to breastfeed, but others "try" for a day or so, until a nurse or some well meaning friend or relative says, "It's okay to use formula. It's exactly the same as breastmilk." Breastfeeding is hard. Everyone who does it is in pain at first. In the beginning, it often feels as if your whole life is being spent on the couch with a baby attached to you. It is inconvenient. Sometimes babies want to eat when you are out in public and you have to either find a quiet place to nurse or go home. It's a sacrifice.
Guess what, though? After awhile, the pain goes away and the baby doesn't eat as often. You've given him/her an incredible gift as far as health and immunity and you get to enjoy quiet moments of looking down at your precious baby and knowing that you are the one nourishing him/her and helping him/her grow.
A well known fact about babies is that they cry. They cry when they're hungry, wet, dirty, sleepy, bored, and restless. They might even just want you to hold them. They don't have any other way to communicate with you. If you can't figure out what it is they want, just hold them. Don't lay them down in their cribs to figure themselves out. When you do that, and they go to sleep, it's not because they're ok. They're emotionally defeated. They've given up on you. After a few nights of that, why even cry for you? They know you're not going to come back.
"Good," you might say, "that's what I wanted. Now, we can all get some sleep."
Here's my way of thinking. They're not in Wal-Mart, throwing a fit because they want a toy and you won't buy it for them. We're talking about infants here. They just want you. Or maybe they don't know what they want. It's not a sin to hold them. You won't "spoil" them. One day, you may even regret not holding them as often as you could.
It's really easy to use Ferber or some other method to make your baby go to sleep by himself/herself. Real convenient. I just can't do it to my 10 month old son.
Someday, my son will sleep in a bed, he won't nurse, and he will be too big to hold.
For now, he is my baby. Even when Kade is having the roughest of nights, even when it's 12 am and he's awake for the third time, Michael and I look at each other over his head with tears in our eyes and say, "I love him!"
Psalm 127:3 says, "Children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward."
They are gifts. Precious, tiny, guileless, guiltless gifts.
Treat them as such.
They're not trying to manipulate you.
Don't do the easiest thing just to get by.
I've learned something since I became a mother. Parenting and children are not always convenient. They cry when we wish they would sleep, they want to eat when we'd like to be doing things around the house, they get into things they shouldn't get into, they make messes we have to clean up, they throw up, sneeze, cough, wipe boogers, and get poop and pee on you.
Parenting is hard.
I know/know of all kinds of soon-to-be mothers right now, and I beg you not to be a drive-thru parent.
You didn't carry a baby for 9 months just to make sure it gets fed, diapered, clothed, and off to pre-K by 3 years old.
God (whether you believe in Him or not) gave you the ultimate privilege of being a parent to the cutest, smartest baby in the world. It is a privilege AND it is a responsibility.
Listen to your instincts and not to the advice of every Tom, Dick, Harry, and even grandma who tells you what is "best" for your baby.
Just a couple things:
Some mothers honestly are not able to breastfeed, but others "try" for a day or so, until a nurse or some well meaning friend or relative says, "It's okay to use formula. It's exactly the same as breastmilk." Breastfeeding is hard. Everyone who does it is in pain at first. In the beginning, it often feels as if your whole life is being spent on the couch with a baby attached to you. It is inconvenient. Sometimes babies want to eat when you are out in public and you have to either find a quiet place to nurse or go home. It's a sacrifice.
Guess what, though? After awhile, the pain goes away and the baby doesn't eat as often. You've given him/her an incredible gift as far as health and immunity and you get to enjoy quiet moments of looking down at your precious baby and knowing that you are the one nourishing him/her and helping him/her grow.
A well known fact about babies is that they cry. They cry when they're hungry, wet, dirty, sleepy, bored, and restless. They might even just want you to hold them. They don't have any other way to communicate with you. If you can't figure out what it is they want, just hold them. Don't lay them down in their cribs to figure themselves out. When you do that, and they go to sleep, it's not because they're ok. They're emotionally defeated. They've given up on you. After a few nights of that, why even cry for you? They know you're not going to come back.
"Good," you might say, "that's what I wanted. Now, we can all get some sleep."
Here's my way of thinking. They're not in Wal-Mart, throwing a fit because they want a toy and you won't buy it for them. We're talking about infants here. They just want you. Or maybe they don't know what they want. It's not a sin to hold them. You won't "spoil" them. One day, you may even regret not holding them as often as you could.
It's really easy to use Ferber or some other method to make your baby go to sleep by himself/herself. Real convenient. I just can't do it to my 10 month old son.
Someday, my son will sleep in a bed, he won't nurse, and he will be too big to hold.
For now, he is my baby. Even when Kade is having the roughest of nights, even when it's 12 am and he's awake for the third time, Michael and I look at each other over his head with tears in our eyes and say, "I love him!"
Psalm 127:3 says, "Children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward."
They are gifts. Precious, tiny, guileless, guiltless gifts.
Treat them as such.
They're not trying to manipulate you.
Don't do the easiest thing just to get by.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Can't touch this....
I've been made fun of and called names many times in my life. At various times, people have made fun of my weight, my intelligence and my faith, among other things. I could give the cliche "it only matters what Jesus thinks about me" response (and it would be true), but that doesn't mean that it doesn't sting.
Yep. The old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is definitely not true. Words can hurt--sometimes more than a broken bone. Lately, though, I've been asking myself "Why? Why is that particular comment an insult?"
For example: In school, and even now, at times, people have labelled me a nerd, brainiac, etc. Those things have a negative connotation, but why? What that means is that you make pretty good grades and you don't totally despise school or learning. I had an over 4.0 GPA in high school, graduated college in 3.5 years, and started my career at 21. I'm trying to figure out how that's a bad thing. I guess because, in teenage society, it's not "cool" to be academically successful.
It's also been said (and I've even felt at times) that I didn't/don't have any friends. What I really have is a few true, godly friends, a husband who is my best fried and no two-faced acquaintances. I feel pretty blessed in that.
As for my weight--I have been chubby and on the opposite end of the spectrum, I have had an (self-diagnosed) eating disorder. But at this point in my life, I am happy with my weight and I look pretty darn good for a woman who had a baby 9 months ago. I can say that and I will.
And the clincher--"goody two shoes", "little church girl", and whatever else a person could think of pertaining to my faith. I'm a girl. I go to church. I try to be good. I'm trying to figure out where the insult is. My parents raised me to love God, to follow his word, and to have some self-control. That hasn't served me badly. I'm 24 years old, I have a husband and a son, and a good career which I gave up (and was able to give up) by choice. I have a house, a car, and every material thing I could ever want or need. And I have God on my side. These are just the facts.
Matthew 10:28 says "Do not fear those who can kill the body but cannot kill the soul."
People may hurt my feelings and break my heart, but they can never kill my soul.
Can't touch this.
Yep. The old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is definitely not true. Words can hurt--sometimes more than a broken bone. Lately, though, I've been asking myself "Why? Why is that particular comment an insult?"
For example: In school, and even now, at times, people have labelled me a nerd, brainiac, etc. Those things have a negative connotation, but why? What that means is that you make pretty good grades and you don't totally despise school or learning. I had an over 4.0 GPA in high school, graduated college in 3.5 years, and started my career at 21. I'm trying to figure out how that's a bad thing. I guess because, in teenage society, it's not "cool" to be academically successful.
It's also been said (and I've even felt at times) that I didn't/don't have any friends. What I really have is a few true, godly friends, a husband who is my best fried and no two-faced acquaintances. I feel pretty blessed in that.
As for my weight--I have been chubby and on the opposite end of the spectrum, I have had an (self-diagnosed) eating disorder. But at this point in my life, I am happy with my weight and I look pretty darn good for a woman who had a baby 9 months ago. I can say that and I will.
And the clincher--"goody two shoes", "little church girl", and whatever else a person could think of pertaining to my faith. I'm a girl. I go to church. I try to be good. I'm trying to figure out where the insult is. My parents raised me to love God, to follow his word, and to have some self-control. That hasn't served me badly. I'm 24 years old, I have a husband and a son, and a good career which I gave up (and was able to give up) by choice. I have a house, a car, and every material thing I could ever want or need. And I have God on my side. These are just the facts.
Matthew 10:28 says "Do not fear those who can kill the body but cannot kill the soul."
People may hurt my feelings and break my heart, but they can never kill my soul.
Can't touch this.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Almost 9 months
My son is almost 9 months old!
He has two teeth.
He crawls.
He pulls up on everything.
He says da da.
He can clap.
He can wave (he just choses not to).
He likes vegetables better than fruit.
He has gorgeous blue eyes and a dimple (Lucky!).
He likes to pull up on a cardboard box that's sitting in his room and yesterday, he pulled a pack of diapers from a shelf, set them in front of the cardboard box and used the diapers as a step to get on top of the box.
Smart, I tell ya.
I think his favorite part of the day is when his daddy gets home. We usually go to the door to meet him and as soon as he sees daddy get out of the car, his face lights up. Of course, when Michael tries to get him, he wraps his arms around my neck in a death grip, but he's still grinning.
Unfortunately, he's reached the age where he can be bribed. I say unfortunately, because I always thought I wouldn't do things like that. You know: Ok honey, if you just stop crying, I'll get you any toy you want or If you'll just stop hitting your sister, I'll buy you an ice cream cone. Ok, it's not that drastic. He has developed a liking for Gerber's puffs and as long as I continue to give them to him, he will give me time to do whatever I need to do. However, if I don't give him another one soon enough, the screaming starts.
I felt bad about this until yesterday. I was trying to give a piano lesson to my cousin and the only way to placate Kade while I gave the lesson was for my cousin's mother to feet Kade puffs while I held him. She asked me once, Is it ok that he's eating this many? and I said Sure (don't worry Gramma. It was only 10 or so.) because really, what choice did we have? After the lesson, I looked down and 5 or 6 of them were on the floor. I guess he spit them out. So, I didn't feel so bad anymore.
Right now, he is napping. I love naptime, but after an hour or so, I start missing him.
Actually, I think I'll go wake him up check on him. Then, maybe we'll go on a walk.
He's a fun guy, my son.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Intolerance
I'm a member of a couple of online mommy forums and as strange as it may sound, I've made some good friends there, been encouraged, and gotten some excellent advice.
Not only do we talk about babies and diapers and breastfeeding, but we also discuss current events, TV shows, husbands, and anything else you can think of.
Recently, someone brought up a very hot button issue and of course, everyone came rushing in to defend their position. This issue happens to be something that even many Christians are divided on. (In my opinion, the Word is very clear on this issue, but of course, I can only speak for myself).
Reading through the pages of the discussion, one thing is obvious: The Christians who hold a certain position are told that their opinion is ignorant, intolerant, outdated, judgmental, close-minded, etc., etc.
In today's world, it is politically correct to be "open-minded". Thefreedictionary.com says that "open-minded" is being "receptive to new and different ideas of the opinions of others." Now, when it comes to parenting styles--hey, I'm open-minded! New teaching theories? Open-minded! Trying new foods? Hey, right here!
When it comes to my faith? Close-minded and owning it! You know why? Because my mind is closed to anything that the Bible blatantly and openly disagrees with. Jesus simply told us to love, and a lot of the time we have to love with our eyes, ears, and minds-closed or our thoughts and emotions would override what we are commanded to do. God never asked me to be open-minded. In fact, he told me what is right and wrong and tells me I had better discern it in the words of others, using the Bible.
Someone once said, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything".
So many people do that these days!
Pick and choose parts of the Bible they agree with and trash the rest.
A little bit of Buddha, a little bit of karma, a little bit of Christianity.
Anything goes.
The Bible says, "Choose today whom you will serve!" (Joshua 24:15 NLT)
Well, "I have decided to follow Jesus" and I'm stickin' to my guns.
Call that intolerant, but it won't be any more intolerant than the treatment Christians usually get.
Jesus said, "This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you."
My only commandment is to love in the same way Jesus loves me, which means that, no matter what I do, no matter how imperfect I am, he loves me.
So, I don't have to agree with a person and I sure don't have to like what he/she does, but I will love them nevertheless.
Not only do we talk about babies and diapers and breastfeeding, but we also discuss current events, TV shows, husbands, and anything else you can think of.
Recently, someone brought up a very hot button issue and of course, everyone came rushing in to defend their position. This issue happens to be something that even many Christians are divided on. (In my opinion, the Word is very clear on this issue, but of course, I can only speak for myself).
Reading through the pages of the discussion, one thing is obvious: The Christians who hold a certain position are told that their opinion is ignorant, intolerant, outdated, judgmental, close-minded, etc., etc.
In today's world, it is politically correct to be "open-minded". Thefreedictionary.com says that "open-minded" is being "receptive to new and different ideas of the opinions of others." Now, when it comes to parenting styles--hey, I'm open-minded! New teaching theories? Open-minded! Trying new foods? Hey, right here!
When it comes to my faith? Close-minded and owning it! You know why? Because my mind is closed to anything that the Bible blatantly and openly disagrees with. Jesus simply told us to love, and a lot of the time we have to love with our eyes, ears, and minds-closed or our thoughts and emotions would override what we are commanded to do. God never asked me to be open-minded. In fact, he told me what is right and wrong and tells me I had better discern it in the words of others, using the Bible.
Someone once said, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything".
So many people do that these days!
Pick and choose parts of the Bible they agree with and trash the rest.
A little bit of Buddha, a little bit of karma, a little bit of Christianity.
Anything goes.
The Bible says, "Choose today whom you will serve!" (Joshua 24:15 NLT)
Well, "I have decided to follow Jesus" and I'm stickin' to my guns.
Call that intolerant, but it won't be any more intolerant than the treatment Christians usually get.
Jesus said, "This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you."
My only commandment is to love in the same way Jesus loves me, which means that, no matter what I do, no matter how imperfect I am, he loves me.
So, I don't have to agree with a person and I sure don't have to like what he/she does, but I will love them nevertheless.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Just sayin'.....
Today was a good day.
Just sayin'......
I woke up, made muffins for my sweet husband, and enjoyed a cup of coffee.
Then, I walked in my bedroom to find my beautiful baby boy lying in the middle of my bed, waiting for his mommy. He grinned when he saw me.
We got ready, drove to the big city, and enjoyed a free lemonade courtesy of our Chik-fil-a calendar.
We went to Babies R Us, armed with coupons and left with 5 outfits for Kade, a pair of shoes, a rear facing mirror, a look book, and a baby shower gift for $50!
When we got home, I gave a piano lesson while Kade played with his grandparents and am getting ready to make pancakes for dinner.
I get to see Michael in an hour and a half!
Today has been a good day.
Just sayin'.
Just sayin'......
I woke up, made muffins for my sweet husband, and enjoyed a cup of coffee.
Then, I walked in my bedroom to find my beautiful baby boy lying in the middle of my bed, waiting for his mommy. He grinned when he saw me.
We got ready, drove to the big city, and enjoyed a free lemonade courtesy of our Chik-fil-a calendar.
We went to Babies R Us, armed with coupons and left with 5 outfits for Kade, a pair of shoes, a rear facing mirror, a look book, and a baby shower gift for $50!
When we got home, I gave a piano lesson while Kade played with his grandparents and am getting ready to make pancakes for dinner.
I get to see Michael in an hour and a half!
Today has been a good day.
Just sayin'.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
"All you need is love, love; Love is all you need!"
I love this song! It feels so carefree and happy! However. what I'm about to say might sound jaded at first. Don't write me off; keep reading.
As good and romantic as it sounds to say, love is not all you need--not the kind of love the Beatles were talking about anyways.
I remember one time when my mom said this to me (when I mentioned that I wanted to get married before graduating from college and without any real marketable skills). I thought, "Well, what an old person thing to say! How unromantic!"
Of course, like most things parents say to us that we initially strongly disagree with, we grow up and realize that they were, in fact, right.
The love of my husband is not all I need.
If you think it is, then you try it. No matter how strong the love between you and your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend is, it won't magically produce food for your table or money for your mortgage--unless you have a reality show based on your love. Ha! That's just the kind of world we live in. There are several things we have to have to survive: Oxygen, food, water, and some kind of shelter.
For that matter, I don't even have to have the love of my husband. I want that love, but I don't need it. I desire it, but it's not a necessity.
Some people think love is a necessity. In fact, most of us spend our lives searching for it. We want the love of a friend; we want to be loved and accepted by others; we want to be loved by our parents and our children. If we don't feel that love, we feel like we have failed. We are people who crave love.
Though we still need oxygen, food, water, and shelter, there is only one love we absolutely have to have.
The love of God.
Without it, we have nothing, even if we seem to have everything. Without it, there is a moon crater sized void in our hearts. How many times have you heard an alcoholic or drug addicted person say, that they drink or take drugs to try to fill an emptiness inside? People hoard things, carve their hurt on their wrists, drown themselves in their work, max out their credit cards, and give away their bodies to convince themselves that they only need acceptance; that they only need to breathe, to eat, to drink, to have a roof over their heads on clothes on their bodies.
Not one person on this earth has the love you need.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
This chapter of Corinthians is frequently read at weddings. As much as I love my husband and would like to think we have this kind of love, we don't! We're not always patient or kind; we're not always polite or unselfish. I know that I definitely keep record of wrongs. I mean, do you get where I'm going? I don't know one peson or couple on this Earth who follows this to a tee ALL THE TIME. This is perfect love.
We need this kind of love. We need someone who would allow himself to be beaten, spit on, and brutally murdered so that we can live. We need someone who, in return for this perfect love, asks only for devotion.
You know why people are so skeptical? Because it sounds too good to be true. In this world, there is always a catch, so people can't seem to believe that it's that simple; that someone could love our ugliness, our craziness, our selfishness, and our dirtiness just because. But He does.
It's a paradox isn't it? Love is not all you need, yet, in the end, it is.
As good and romantic as it sounds to say, love is not all you need--not the kind of love the Beatles were talking about anyways.
I remember one time when my mom said this to me (when I mentioned that I wanted to get married before graduating from college and without any real marketable skills). I thought, "Well, what an old person thing to say! How unromantic!"
Of course, like most things parents say to us that we initially strongly disagree with, we grow up and realize that they were, in fact, right.
The love of my husband is not all I need.
If you think it is, then you try it. No matter how strong the love between you and your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend is, it won't magically produce food for your table or money for your mortgage--unless you have a reality show based on your love. Ha! That's just the kind of world we live in. There are several things we have to have to survive: Oxygen, food, water, and some kind of shelter.
For that matter, I don't even have to have the love of my husband. I want that love, but I don't need it. I desire it, but it's not a necessity.
Some people think love is a necessity. In fact, most of us spend our lives searching for it. We want the love of a friend; we want to be loved and accepted by others; we want to be loved by our parents and our children. If we don't feel that love, we feel like we have failed. We are people who crave love.
Though we still need oxygen, food, water, and shelter, there is only one love we absolutely have to have.
The love of God.
Without it, we have nothing, even if we seem to have everything. Without it, there is a moon crater sized void in our hearts. How many times have you heard an alcoholic or drug addicted person say, that they drink or take drugs to try to fill an emptiness inside? People hoard things, carve their hurt on their wrists, drown themselves in their work, max out their credit cards, and give away their bodies to convince themselves that they only need acceptance; that they only need to breathe, to eat, to drink, to have a roof over their heads on clothes on their bodies.
Not one person on this earth has the love you need.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
This chapter of Corinthians is frequently read at weddings. As much as I love my husband and would like to think we have this kind of love, we don't! We're not always patient or kind; we're not always polite or unselfish. I know that I definitely keep record of wrongs. I mean, do you get where I'm going? I don't know one peson or couple on this Earth who follows this to a tee ALL THE TIME. This is perfect love.
We need this kind of love. We need someone who would allow himself to be beaten, spit on, and brutally murdered so that we can live. We need someone who, in return for this perfect love, asks only for devotion.
You know why people are so skeptical? Because it sounds too good to be true. In this world, there is always a catch, so people can't seem to believe that it's that simple; that someone could love our ugliness, our craziness, our selfishness, and our dirtiness just because. But He does.
It's a paradox isn't it? Love is not all you need, yet, in the end, it is.
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